


Will You Remember Me ?

by GayAndNaps



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Gang AU, Roughly inspired by Banana Fish, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28614096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayAndNaps/pseuds/GayAndNaps
Summary: What if Historia never got to the training camp ? What if Ymir never joined because she had no reasons to ?OrHistoria is saved by a mysterious girl in the district of Trost after running away and decides to join her gang in order to survive.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss & Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 34
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone ! So I haven't written anything in quite some time but these two deserve it so here I am :) 
> 
> !!!!!! TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: Suicidal thoughts, violence !!!!!!! (It's my first time having to use those but I tried to stick as much as I could to canon so...)

Christa had been out in the streets for almost 3 weeks now. Everyday was becoming harder and harder, she had barely gotten any sleep, let alone water and food. After being locked away in that farm for as long as she could remember, being by herself in this huge city had been a shock. Truth be told, her life had been a succession of shocks lately.

And so that was why, when the 4 men that had been following her for a while now found a way to surround her in a remote alley, she was not very much surprised. It was to be expected, honestly. After everything that had happened to her, after the life she had had, dying alone in that alley seemed fit. Maybe that is why she did not try to lose them in the crowd…

How much longer did she need to run ? She had always thought if she could leave the farm, she could find freedom, and yet, now in this big city, nothing had changed. There were literal walls trapping her now. They had always been there, of course, but only since she arrived in the Trost district had she been confronted with them.

Wherever she was, whatever she was doing, she was always hiding, always trapped.

So, maybe, this could be her way of finding some peace. Finally, she would be free.

" You're gonna pay for what you stole from us ! ", the taller guy said first.

He was right, she did steal some food from them. Everyone did what they could to survive ever since the colossal and armored titan attacked the walls. Food was harder to find and she knew that bread was not theirs in the first place, but who cared now. She was about to pay for what she had done, and for the first time in her life she would be truly and utterly free.

The same guy who had spoken raised a knife at her, Christa, however, did not flinch a bit. She was ready. She had always tried to please people, but in the end, maybe disappearing was the best she could do. After all, this was why she had found herself on her way to train and become a soldier in the first place.

Of course, that was before running away.

" Hey, asshole ! ", a voice interrupted them. Christa barely had time to think before the leader of the crew was slammed on the ground by a tall girl, the girl had the head covered by a black hood but Christa could decipher shot brown hair escaping from under it. She could not see her face clearly but she saw the girl lean in to whisper in the guy's ear, a knee pressed firmly against his back and a hand blocking his arm in a way that would make it easy for her to break it in a few seconds if she wanted to.

" Four against one ? Now that's not very fair is it ? ", she spoke again in a raspy voice that sent shivers down Christa's spine.

" Ugh ! Guys, kill them both ! "

Both ? No. This was not going at all like Christa wanted. This girl. Why did she help her ? Why was she risking her life for her ? After all this time she had spent alone ? Why now ?

She would probably not find any answers to those questions, but it did not matter. Now was not the time to freeze. She could not let her savior die because of her.

So, without thinking, she punched her assailant's nose as hard as she could. Then, ignoring the pain, she kicked him in the knee to make him fall.

However, she failed to see a third man behind her, ready to strike. That was it, she thought, it was too late now. She turned to her savior and saw a fourth man rushing toward her too as she was still in place.

Before Christa could even move another finger, the man that was ready to stab her cried out.

" WHAT THE HELL ?! "

She was asking herself the same thing. The hand previously holding the knife now had a hole in it, and a little further, on the ground, was... An arrow ?

" Hey ! You okay ? ", another girl asked while grabbing her shoulder reassuringly. She was holding a bow, so at least one question was answered. However it was not over.

" Huh yeah but what ab- ", before she could finish that question she saw a short guy holding a knife to the last guy's throat.

Christa was speechless. Who were those people exactly ?

She saw the first girl letting go of the guy, only to turn his face to her with one hand. Christa saw the guy's expression go from anger to terror so quick she thought she was hallucinating.

" Y-Ymir ?! "

" Hello, Marcus. ", she answered coldly.

" W-we were just leaving ! I swear. "

" Don't lie to me. What did I say about coming back here ? ", she said, while adding some pressure to his arm. Everyone was silent now, even the man with the bleeding hand had stopped crying.

" Okay, okay we'll leave I swear, please don't break it !! "

*CRACK*

" Too late. That was your last warning. "

The girl called Ymir let go of the guy who got up as fast as he could and ran away without even waiting for his friends. They ran in the same direction shortly after the rest of the squad let them go.

" These idiots... " , Ymir sighed loudly.

" Uhm... Thanks ! But I had it, you know ? ", Ymir finally looked at Christa. She tried to keep a straight face but eventually, she scoffed loudly.

" You're joking, right ? The only thing you 'had' was the promise of a certain death. "

Christa did not answer, and the whole crew was about to leave the scene, in Ymir's command, when Christa interrupted again.

" Wait ! "

The trio turned to her, in the middle, Ymir seemed particularly annoyed, but Christa chose to ignore her and asked instead the girl with the bow.

" Can I... Come with you ? I have nowhere to go and... "

" And what ? You think you're special ? Have you seen this city ? No one has anywhere to go. ", Ymir interrupted.

Great. The woman who saved her was an asshole.

" No... I mean... Please ? I can cook. I'll make myself useful... "

" You can cook ?? Please Ymir ! We have room for one more ! ", the bow lady spoke. Her face completely changed when Christa mentioned that particular skill...

Ymir rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. That was a bit dramatic in Christa's opinion, but she needed rest and somehow, she felt like she could trust those people, as dangerous as they were, so she chose to say nothing.

" Fine... But you better don't make me regret this. Now, let's go." , and without another word, she started to walk out of that alley.

As she was following, Christa found herself surrounded by the two acolytes of the girl.

" Hey ! I'm Sasha by the way. "

" And I'm Connie. "

" Christa. Thanks for letting me join you guys. "

" No problem... ", Sasha spoke again before pausing, “ By the way… She would have asked you to join, you know ? “ 

“ Really ? It didn’t seem like it though… “, Christa looked at her strangely.

" Yeah… Don’t mind her too much… Besides, we really need someone who can cook in the band... Sasha is the only one who can cook but she always ends up eating half of it... And more if we didn't stop her... Especially when it's meat... "

" You guys have meat ?! How ? ", Christa was in pure disbelief. Only the rich folks were able to buy it... And even if they were stealing it, they would have needed to be really good at it as it became one of the most prized item someone could have ever since the breach of wall Maria.

" We have our ways... ", the guy was clearly trying to act cocky, but Christa did not mind, actually, she found it quite funny how hard he would try to impress her.

They continued chatting happily, the earlier events almost forgotten, but Christa could not stop glancing at the girl walking in front of them. Who was she exactly ? And why did she save her if she considered Christa such a pain in the ass ?

* * *

After a few minutes' walk, they stopped before what seemed to be a disaffected building. Everyone followed as Ymir entered by the back door.

" It's an old Garrison base or something... The whole thing is in shambles but it's our home. ", Connie whispered in her ear.

" Come on ! Let's introduce you to the others ! ", Sasha grabbed her hand and led her to the upper floor through the stairs.

" The others ? ", Christa asked as she was dragged into what appeared to be the main room.

It had a few old couches and blankets, the walls had an old, half ripped, faded tapisserie on them. The whole room almost seemed cosy if it were not for the two boys literally at each other's throats and the dark haired girl and blonde haired boy trying to calm them down and divide them.

Ymir just walked past the chaos and sat on one of the couches after grabbing a book on her way there.

The fuss lasted another few seconds before the boys were finally separated, however, the blonde boy got ejected from the fight as well and bumped harshly against Christa, who was finally acknowledged by the rest of the band.

They all froze and stared at her. " Huh ? "

" Uhm hi I'm Christa. ", she waved shyly at them, and heard a snicker coming from the couch. Surely the scene must have been amusing from where she was sitting... Wasn't she the boss anyway ? Wasn't it her job to calm them down and introduce her ?

" Oh no I'm so sorry ! Did I hurt you ? I really didn't mean to, I just got ejected an- "

" Armin it's fine ! ", Sasha reassured her. " She is tough. She was fighting alone Marcus and his band when we arrived ! Even punched one of them right in the nose ! "

Christa blushed at the memory. First, because it was just pure luck and also because she really was not fighting anyone before they arrived... Which, looking back on it, seemed really embarrassing. She could tell those people were the kind of people who were always fighting to survive, and now, if she wanted to stay with them, she needed to do her best, she could not disappoint the first people actually willing to take her in.

After that, everyone was impressed with her and introduced themselves, the two guys who were fighting were called Jean and Eren, apparently it was not unusual for them and most of the crew paid no attention to it. The blonde guy was Armin, he seemed really sweet from what Christa had seen, she really had not expected someone so polite being a part of such a band. Then again, she had learned pretty early on that people could be really surprising at times. Finally, the dark haired girl with the red scarf was called Mikasa.

From what she gathered, someone called Annie was still missing, not that it was really unusual for her. 

* * *

After the introductions were made, Sasha led her to what would be her room for the time being, the place was bigger than she expected, it even had a bed ! She had not seen one of those in a while.

" Well, this is it ! I hope it's alright ? ", Sasha asked.

" It's more than alright ! Thanks ! ", she smiled widely at the girl. It had been her first genuine smile in a while, but she was glad to see she was still able to do it.

" Cool then ! I have to go back in town to run a few errands so I guess you can just rest for now, I know you've had a long day. ", the brown haired girl offered.

And it's exactly what she did.

She knew she was exhausted, but it was an understatement, her head barely touched the bed that she immediately fell asleep, not even bothering to take her shoes off.

* * *

When Christa regained consciousness again, it took her a minute to remember where she was, everything was darker now, it was the evening.

So it wasn't a dream...

The girl slowly stood up, ready to see everyone again, but when she arrived she was only met with Ymir, still reading in the same spot. The whole place was lighted by candles, she figured they could not exactly lighten up the entire place if they wanted to lay low.

" Hey... Where are the others ? ", Christa tried.

" Out. ", she said without taking her eyes off her book.

" Oh... Ok... ", this answer was to be expected

What she did not expect however, was Ymir's next words, " There is water on the table if you're thirsty... "

" Th- thanks. ", she said as she approached the table in the kitchen area of the room. She had not had time to really register when she first came in but the living area and the kitchen were actually right next to each other and there were no walls between them, that was probably why the room seemed so big in the first place.

She was about to take the bottle when she felt a throbbing pain in her hand that made her wince. That's right, she thought, Christa had punched that guy in the alley, and hard. Only now the pain was waking up.

" Wait. ", was all Ymir told her before leaving the room.

She came back a few minutes later, holding something.

" Ok sit there. ", she pointed to a chair, Christa was still not sure of what was happening but she obeyed nonetheless.

Ymir took another chair and sat in front of her, she also brought a candle and then asked Christa for her hand.

" It should make the pain more bearable. ", she said as she applied the ointment she was holding to the girl's hand. The blonde girl was surprised at Ymir's gentleness, her hand felt incredibly soft too. Maybe she was not as much of an asshole as she wanted people to think she was...

She focused her attention on Ymir's face, with the light and the closeness she noticed the freckles on the other girl's face, her eyes, however, were entirely on Christa's hand.

She was not expecting the girl to be so nice to her all of a sudden.

" Thanks... ", she finally said as the brunette was wrapping her fist in some bandages.

" No problem. ", she said as she stood up.

Without thinking, Christa stood up too and grabbed Ymir's hand, the other girl turned to her, clearly surprised by her action.

" Thanks for allowing me to stay, and for earlier too... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come... "

" Really ? It seemed like you did though. ", she answered coldly.

" What ? "

" You could have easily lost them. There was a big crowd in the street, it was broad daylight, and those guys aren't really bright or brave either... Yet, you were the one who went into that alley, without putting up any fight. Sasha said to the others that you were fighting when we arrived, but I watched you out there, and your eyes told a different story. "

" No that's not tr- ", she tried to argue and finally let go of Ymir’s hand, realizing she had been holding onto it longer than she should have.

" Don't bother, you don't need to convince me or anything, frankly, I don't really care. I'm just telling you, you can drop the act around me. "

Christa was about to argue, but the door opened and the whole crew joined them. Ymir took it as an opportunity to leave the room. 

“ We’re baaack ! “, Jean said first.

“ And we found meat ! “, Sasha added with fire in her eyes, and then, those same eyes met Christa’s, she rushed to the girl and asked, “ I know you’re probably tired but please, can you cook ? I’ll help you, it’ll be fun ! “

Christa chose to ignore Connie’s warning signs behind Sasha, clearly telling her it was not a good idea, but she chose to ignore him, “ Sure ! Lead the way. “

The news seemed to have made Sasha’s day and just like that, they were headed to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ! Don't hesitate to give me feedback and requests you might have, I'll try to include them. Thanks to my beta @areyoubored on tumblr !


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta reader as always @areyoubored on tumblr

Christa woke up in her new room, the memories of yesterday’s events still fresh in her mind. She had managed to win everyone over with her cooking skills, the smell only had been enough to turn Sasha crazy. She seriously had never seen that, the only reason her dish had been saved was Jean and Connie. They had kept an eye on her apparently, it was not unusual for the girl. 

Besides that small incident, everything went smoothly and she was pretty confident she had managed to win over most of the crew. Most was the key word here… Everyone seemed to have accepted her as one of their own so fast, and yet, she could not tell what Ymir was thinking. One moment she literally jumped at her rescue, or offered to patch her up, and the next she ignored her or got angry at her…

What was her deal anyway ? And how could she act like she knew what Christa was thinking back in the street… Sure, she was not wrong, but if it bothered her that much, why did she bother saving her ? 

The evening did not bring Christa any answers, Ymir ate in silence, she would sometimes catch her staring but they did not speak to each other since the other’s interruption.

She did learn that they were about to pull a heist they had been preparing for quite some time now. Stealing and selling on the black market was their main source of revenue, they had nothing else and Christa was fine with it. Everyone did what they could to survive.

She made her way towards the main room when she decided she was ready to face the world and was met with a blonde girl that was not there yesterday. 

Before she could say anything, Ymir emerged behind her, “ Oh, hey Annie, you’re here early. “, she said while rubbing her eyes tiredly.

“ Hi, who’s this ? “, she asked while pointing at Christa.

“ That’s the new girl, Christine. “, Ymir said with a smirk directed at Christa.

“ Christa. “; she corrected while shooting a death glare at Ymir. What kind of gang leader had the time to be so childish ? She had a hard time telling herself the girl who saved her and the “all too proud of her joke” child standing in front of her were the same person. “ Nice to meet you ! “

“ Same. “, Annie said simply, Christa had the feeling she would not get more than that so she sat at the table where she grabbed some bread from last night as breakfast.

As she was eating, she overheard Ymir and Annie talk about a shipment. Apparently, Annie had been watching the army for some time now, and they were aiming to steal from them ? She figured it was the heist they mentioned at dinner but she could not believe it. How would they even go about it ? She knew they were good but that was… Impossible.

She was soon joined by the rest of the band. When Connie, the last one at the table arrived, Ymir stood up and everyone fell silent.

“ Alright guys. Today is the day. The shipment is passing right where we want it at 6 pm tonight. It’s perfect for us, not many people in the streets and low visibility for them. “, she said in a determined tone.

She then let Armin do the rest of the talking as he was the one who designed the plan. He explained everyone’s role and position, but something was missing. Christa asked him about it, because how were they supposed to jump from buildings like that ? 

Ymir was the one who answered, still standing next to Armin, she smirked smugly before saying, “ That’s a surprise, New Girl. “

  
  


* * *

ODM gears. Of course. It had crossed Christa’s mind, but how would they have gotten their hands on those ? And more importantly, how were they so comfortable using them. She had heard how hard navigating with those were, and how only the best recruits from the army, receiving the best kind of training could ever truly master them, and yet, here they all were, climbing the wall of the building the whole operation started from like it was nothing.

For this operation, Christa would stay on the side with Armin. They were watching the end of the street, as Connie was watching the other side.

Sasha was playing the damsel in distress, as the others would sneak in the back of the cart and pack everything they could. Guns, gas, blades for ODM gears, and any kind of supplies they could find.

So far, everything was going smoothly. She got to talk a little with Armin too, which helped calm her nerves. He was really sweet, and she could tell he cared deeply for his friends. He told her a bit about his past, about the attack in the Shiganshina district and how the lack of food brought him, Eren and Mikasa out in the streets.

Christa could only imagine what it felt like to face a titan, and yet she knew it was nothing compared to actually experiencing it…

Before she could ask more questions, the target made a turn for the street and the whole operation was in motion. 

Christa could not see what was happening clearly but she watched the cart stop as she could start hearing Sasha’s voice. Her voice was faint in the distance but from what Christa got, she was a really good actress and managed to have all the soldier’s attention.

Right when they were all following her to a corner, Christa witnessed the full use of ODM gear for the first time. It looked like they were all flying… They all looked so free. The operation only lasted less than a few minutes, just what it took for them to quickly open the boxes in the cart and fill in the backpacks they were carrying. 

Finally, when they were all done, they flew in Christa’s direction. That’s when she saw her. Ymir was leading them, confident as ever, not a single trace of fear or doubt in her eyes. She was nothing like the brat from this morning, or even the mysterious hero from the streets, she was a goddess. The blonde girl did not take her eyes off her until she disappeared in the distance. How could she have ?  


“ That’s… Amazing. “, she said to Armin while still looking in the direction she last saw her, her mouth forming a slight O shape from the amazement.  


“ Yeah… They’re really good at it. “

“ And you’re not ? “, she asked.

“ Not as much… I prefer planning, to be honest. But if it comes to it, I can use the ODM gear too, I trained with them. “, he explained while chuckling lightly before they decided to head back to meet the others.

* * *

They joined the others at the base, everyone still high from adrenaline, especially Sasha who was still bragging to Connie and Jean about her acting skills. 

Christa was about to go over to her to congratulate her, when a tall, slim figure slid before her. “ So… What did you think, New Girl ? “

Ymir was wearing that cocky smirk that infuriated Christa, but the girl still had a hard time suppressing the blush that was forming on her cheeks at the memory of the girl flying in the air. “ You all did great. Especially Sasha. “, she said looking directly into the girl’s eyes. She did not miss the smirk quickly leaving Ymir’s mouth and being replaced with what she could have sworn to be disappointment. 

Ymir shook it off, trying to seem unbothered, and asked Armin to archive everything they managed to steal. 

Christa followed him, offering her help, which he accepted gratefully. She was surprised by the amount of material they had been able to carry, especially Mikasa who seemed even stronger than the rest. Christa and her did not get to talk a lot so far, but she gathered that she was very close to Eren and Armin, they apparently grew up together and she had always been very loyal to them.  


When Armin came up to her to inspect what she got, he was surprised to find an entire ODM gear, along with other supplies. “ Wow good job Mikasa ! I didn’t even know they were supposed to transport those today ! “, Armin praised her, to which Mikasa only shrugged.

Those people really are something else… Christa thought.

“ Well look at that ! Looks like you’re officially going to be one of us now, New Girl ! “, she heard Ymir’s all too familiar voice say behind her. 

Christa only turned to her, dumbfounded, and honestly a little scared. What did she mean by that ?

“ We’re going to teach you to use one of those. You can’t stay on the ground forever… “, she pointed in the direction of the gear.

“ Me ? “, she turned to her incredulously.

“ Sure ! Who else ? “

Her ? Using ODM gear ? She had a hard time seeing it… But she wanted to try. She owed them that. 

* * *

Before she knew it, Ymir led her behind the building they were occupying. Christa was not too eager to train with the girl, but she was the boss and everyone had other duties to attend to. There was no way of knowing how this would go… She could not get a reading on the girl, what was she thinking exactly ? Why did she offer to train her herself ? 

Ymir installed the ODM gear on the only tree in the “backyard” that Christa only now discovered. It was not much, but it was nice, especially in a city as crowded as this one. She felt a sense of familiarity with the 'nature', it reminded her of what she used to called her home.  


“ Okay, come here. I’m gonna show you how to keep your balance on this thing. It’s the first step, and probably the trickiest one. “

The blonde girl did as she was told, and soon after being securely attached, she felt Ymir gently lift the ropes. Her feet were not touching the ground anymore. She was flying. It was nothing compared to what the others did but still, it felt amazing. 

Her happiness, however, was about to be short lived as she felt her balance shiver and her head dangerously approach the ground. Before she knew it, she felt a strong hold secure her body. The blonde girl looked up to see Ymir’s face, and what she could have sworn to be a hint of worry in her eyes. 

“ Hey ! Careful... “, she said, putting Christa back in place. “ Remember, the key is to relax. “

“ Easier said than done… “, Christa muttered under her breath before trying again. 

Meanwhile, Ymir walked behind her and Christa froze when she felt her hands firmly placed on her hips. She tried to turn to look at what the girl was doing, and slightly lost her balance at the same time. 

“ Eyes far ahead. “, Ymir only instructed.

Christa followed her advice, trying to focus her breath and calm her heartbeat, the adrenaline from her fall still kicking in. The closeness with the girl was not really helping either if she was being honest. 

“ Good. Now, try to focus your center of gravity here. “, she added while gently patting her hips, “ and concentrate your weight equally in your body. “

“ You do realize that doesn’t make any sense, right ? “

Ymir chuckled raspily, “ Sorry,  _ princess _ , that’s the advice I was given, and the only one I can give you. “

The blonde girl rolled her eyes at the nickname. That’s new... , she thought. And something was telling her it would stick. Ymir was too much of an ass not to take her chances at provoking her, however, she would not give her the satisfaction, so she did not react and asked instead, “ Who is the genius that came up with that ? “

“ Jean… He’s better at this whole thing than us. He picked it up in less than a day… “

“ Really ? How long did it take you ? “

“ Almost a week… “

“ Huh… Would you look at that… For once you don’t have any reasons to be so cocky ! “

Ymir, who was back to facing her furrowed her eyebrows playfully, “ Uhm, excuse me, but I was the third best at this. Besides, it was not worse than Eren… It took him a whole 3 weeks… Okay, turns out his belt was busted but still… “, she reminded herself.

“ Nevermind… You’re still a jerk. “, Christa sighed heavily.

“ What ?! I’m only speaking the truth here. “

“ Sure… “, she teased.

* * *

Both girls continued their banters until it became too dark to see anything, and they decided to head home. In the end, Christa was not regretting her time outside with the girl at all, against all odds she turned out to be an ok teacher and maybe, just maybe, she was not such a terrible person to spend time with.  


Ymir was holding the candle as they walked towards the building when Christa stopped in her tracks. Something was still bothering her, and it somewhat felt like a good moment to ask, so, she finally broke the silence.  


“ Ymir ? “

“ Mmh ? “

“ Why did you stop those guys if you knew what I had in mind yesterday ? “

The brunette who was walking slightly ahead of her stopped in the tracks too. “ I don’t really know… Those guys had been on my nerves for weeks… “

“ Oh… Good… “, Christa said biting her lips. She had a feeling that was not all, but what did she know ? She had barely been with them a day, she was probably just overthinking.

“ Yeah... “, Ymir added, and without facing her once, she continued moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it ! If you have any recommendations or stuff you want to read in the story, feel free to share. Thank you all for your comments on the last chapter and for reading this story :)


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a few days since Christa had joined the crew and Ymir was slowly getting used to having her around. She still had a hard time understanding her actions herself, though. Why bother saving her ? She would not have been the first girl to die after facing the harsh reality of life in the Trost district, and she certainly would not have been the last. It had been like that ever since the fall of wall Maria, at least from what she had heard, and it certainly had been like that ever since she arrived.

Though, Ymir was aware she was not being completely honest with herself. She knew, deep down, exactly why she saved this girl. She reminded her of herself at another time of her life, a time she tried her best to leave behind, without forgetting it as it shaped her into the person she had become. 

Ever since she had overheard that conversation in the church, it had been her goal to find that girl. That simple gossip talk had been the confirmation that someone, somewhere, was like her and knew what it was like to live in a lie. It was something she had thought almost impossible for a long time.

However, things did not happen like they were supposed to and soon enough, word got out in the streets that this girl was missing. She never joined the army like she was supposed to, which frankly was a smart choice according to Ymir. 

The rest of the crew were not aware of her intention to find the girl, but Sasha, who she considered her closest friend, had noticed something about this girl was special, though she said nothing, Ymir knew.

Loud bangs interrupted her train of thoughts and rushed her back to reality.

“ Hey Ymir come see that ! Your girl fully mastered the balance exercise ! “, Connie’s voice burst through her door. She rolled her eyes at the new title he had claimed for Christa. It had all started two days ago when Eren made a comment about their so-called “closeness” ever since Christa’s first training, which both girls objected firmly to. But Connie was an idiot so of course he would not let something like that go. Sure, the two girls had gotten close but that was purely professional. As the leader, it was Ymir’s duty to teach her how to use the ODM gear properly, otherwise, she could end up being a serious burden on a heist.

Ymir stood up reluctantly, she had never been a morning person really... She made her way to her room's door sighing heavily:  _ This is going to be a long day _ . 

She slowly made her way to the back door, from where she heard cheering. Connie had left immediately after waking her up, and she could hear him with the others now. She truly wondered what all the fuss was about, but she was also severely missing her bed, which made her drag her feet towards them.

When she arrived, she had to make her way through the group to see what they were looking at. Then, a big grin appeared on her face. Maybe today would not completely suck after all.

Christa’s eyes locked with hers from the distance. The girl was perfectly still, she had mastered the first step of ODM gear training in less days than it took Ymir herself.

The brunette approached her clapping slowly, she tried her hardest to maintain her signature smirk that infuriated the girl so much, but all she was able to produce was a genuine grin. 

“ Would you look at that… Looks like you finally made it, Princess. “

“ Looks Like I did. And faster than you if I recall ? “, Christa teased back, though Ymir did not miss the flinch she made at the mention of the nickname. 

“ Where did you hear such nonsense ? “, she chuckled lightly, “ So… Are you ready for the next step ? “

Christa’s eyes lit up at that question, and Ymir knew what it meant. She waited for the girl to come down from the tree, then gathered her own equipment and led her to a ‘secure spot’. 

She helped the blonde girl climb up on the roof of an old building and started explaining the basics to her.

After a while, when the girl seemed to have understood everything, they both knew what the next step was. 

Christa approached the edge of the building slowly, looking unsure. Ymir had purposely chosen one of the highest buildings in the area so the girl would have time to think while in the air, but she knew the height could be scary.

“ Don’t look below. It’s going to be fine, you got this. “

Christa simply hummed as an answer, but reassurance time was long gone. It was no use now, and the other girl knew this. At this point, the only way she would calm her nerves was by diving in.

“ Christa… I’m sorry, but this is for your own good. “, she said while grabbing both her shoulders firmly. She could feel the other girl freeze, but she pushed her gently toward the edge anyway. And then, she pushed harder.   


All the taller girl could hear for a second was a piercing cry coming from a falling Christa, then, nothing. Ymir would be lying if she said she did not feel a slight sense of worry, but right as she was about to look past the edge of the building, the other girl emerged and landed on the opposite building.

Needless to say, she did not look very happy. Still, brave as ever, Ymir joined her. 

“ What the hell was that !!? “

“ What ? Everyone needs a little push when they start…”, she said innocently. 

Ymir blocked the other girl fuming for the next 10 minutes, until she finally ‘calmed down’. 

“ Are you done now ? “, she asked. raising her eyebrows.

The look of utter shock on Christa’s face would almost have been cute if Ymir did not dread the sermon that it would bring with it. Again. 

Thankfully, realizing the taller girl was not even listening, she just asked back, “ Aren’t you going to apologize ? “

“ For what ? I said I would teach you how to use the ODM gear, and now you’ve done it. If anything, you should be thanking me instead of yelling so loud. I know the area is almost deserted but you never know when the military police will decide to come here…”

“ You’re unbelievable… “, Christa sighed loudly. “ I could have gotten hurt ! “

“ I thought you liked taking risks, Princess… “

Christa rolled her eyes, “ Not that again… “

Quite frankly, Ymir was not in the mood to talk about what happened in that alley today either, so she dropped it and the two of them fell in an awkward silence.

“ Look… I’m sorry… I thought it would help you since you seemed afraid of taking the leap but I had no right to make that decision for you... “, the brunette chose to end the silence with this apology. She looked at the other girl who finally turned back to her in search of an answer.

“ Wow ! Am I hallucinating ? That’s the first time I’m hearing you apologize like that… “, Jean’s voice emerged from behind…  _ Great… _

He was right, the girl rarely apologized to anyone. It was hard for her and this jerk had just ruined the moment, especially since it did not let a chance for Christa to react… Somehow, Ymir really wanted that apology to be accepted, it mattered to her. She knew she could be an ass, she knew she had been out of line, but she made the effort to apologize, and hopefully it would count for something… Right ?

“ Great… You’re here… “, was all Ymir gave him as a greeting while Christa shot him a bright smile. How was that fair ? Granted, she did not deserve one right now, but him being on the receiving end of such a thing instead ? Now that was a punishment.  


“ Yeah we thought we would come see our newest recruit in action ! “

“ We ? “

Before Jean could answer, Mikasa, Sasha, Eren and everyone appeared behind Jean. Only Annie was missing, which was not unusual, she really was not one for group activities.

They all came around the blonde to congratulate her, completely ignoring Ymir. When they were done, they decided to stick with them for the rest of Christa’s training, which, all things considered, was probably for the best. 

* * *

They were all moving together, and giving the girl some advice as they were goingwhen Sasha asked, “ By the way, I was impressed that you were already on the building stage, Christa ! “

“ What do you mean ? “, the blonde asked. Ymir knew where this was going so she tried to put some distance between her and the two girls. 

Ymir was out of earshot but she could see the very displeased glance they were both shooting at her. Ok… Maybe she could have started training her from the ground and moving up. Though, she never saw the point. She had not done that with her training and she turned out fine after all… If you don’t count the scolding she got from the others…

A big hit on her arm made her lose balance and woke her up from her thoughts. “ Ow ! What the hell !? “

“ Have you no shame ?! Just because you’re dumb doesn’t mean you have to bring innocent people down with you !! “,  _ Ah, Sasha… Of course. _

Innocent would not be the word she would use to describe Christa but she said nothing. She was tired of getting scolded for today. “ I apologized, alright ?! “

“ As you should !... Wait ? You did ? Like, genuinely ?! “

“ Yes, genius. I know that was dumb. “

Sasha said nothing more but she could feel her eyes on her, trying to examine her.

Out of the blue, they heard someone shout at them from behind.  _ Crap _ . She thought they would have more time before they arrived, but of course a larger group would catch their attention.

She looked back and saw Christa was still behind. She really handled herself nicely for a beginner, but this wouldn’t do. The military police, as lame as they were, were still more experienced than the girl and if she did not do anything, she would get caught.

“ Shit… You guys go ahead ! Try to lose them ! “, She ordered while she slowed down to reach Christa. She grabbed the girl by the arm and made a sharp turn as one of the soldiers almost caught up to her.

“ Ymir ! Wha- “, was all Christa had the time to say as they both landed harshly on the ground. Without an explanation, she led the girl to one of the smaller streets. Thankfully, she knew the area well and she was able to spot a hiding place quickly.

She crouched behind a pile of flour bags that the nearby baker forgot to take inside. She stopped breathing for a second, as if it would make a difference in whether they would be found or not. 

Just in that moment, she heard someone run past them, asking questions to the locals. Of course, everyone here knew her well, and trusted her, so they all indicated the opposite direction to the soldier. 

“ Uhm… You can let go now… “, she had not even realized her arms were holding tightly the other girl, her whole body was firmly pressed against Christa’s in an attempt to make them smaller. She quickly released the girl from her embrace and a furious blush crept on her cheeks.

“ Right… Sorry about that… “

Ymir could not deny she was missing the heat of the blonde’s body already, but the position they were in was already awkward enough, she did not need her brain to make it worse. She started to move discreetly toward the other end of the street when she felt her sleeve being tucked.

“ Thank you… For saving me just now and for earlier… I know you meant what you said about being sorry and it meant a lot. “

“ Oh.. Uhm… Well… It was nothing… I- I know I was way out of line and- “, _ Come on Ymir just form one correct sentence it’s not that hard !, _ she thought even though nothing more came out of her mouth. The girl had always thought the hardest part was apologizing, she was just now realizing how terrible the part coming right after could be. Especially when none of them could look the other in the eyes as they were talking.

Thankfully, Christa cut her off, “ No ! Actually… As much as I hate to admit it… I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to jump. “, she paused to think before adding, finally locking her eyes with the brunette, pointing an accusing finger on her and gaining back the fire she had in her eyes during the previous lecture, “ Not that this is okay ! Don’t you dare mistake this as an encouragement to continue that kind of crap ! “

Ymir made a point of rolling her eyes and sighing loudly, but deep down she was glad the girl brought them back to normal. Bickering was easier than  _ feelings _ , not that she had any particular feelings towards her or anything. 

“ Yeah, yeah sure… Whatever you say, you know I was right in the end,  _ Princess _ … “

Maybe Ymir liked seeing Christa’s rage emerge every time she used that nickname, or her teeth gritting whenever she gave her her most infuriating smirk, or maybe her face turning slightly redder as she used that condescending tone… Whatever it was, it quickly made annoying the girl her favorite activity. She was just so good at it after all, why waste such a talent ?

In truth, her favorite part was probably the girl’s response. She was the only one able to put her right in her place, not that she would ever admit it. Usually people gave up, they knew Ymir was an asshole and just did not bother anymore. Not Christa, though, and somehow, the dark haired girl did not really mind.

“ Hey ! I heard voices over there ! “

“ Shit ! “, Ymir grabbed Christa who was still ranting about how the girl was ‘such a jerk’, and started running.

They spent about an hour running all around the district after that. It would usually take way less time to lose them, it was almost as if the military police were not even trying, really, (Ymir knew they really weren’t) but every time the girls found a hiding place, their bickering ended up attracting attention until finally, the soldiers gave up, probably too tired of running around for two dumb teenagers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ymir's pov was really fun to write tbh. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it, thanks again to my beta reader @areyoubored on tumblr !


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took longer than usual to write because I have exams soon sorry !
> 
> TW: CUT AND BLOOD
> 
> I included my boy Niccolo because I love him and episode 8 hurt me.

Christa woke up sore after days of intensive training. The whole thing was draining her, she even skipped dinner the day before, too eager to find her bed again. Though, she was proud of herself for the progress she had made. 

She could now use the ODM gear relatively well, and on her own. She knew it was the closest thing she would have from feeling free, and she would forever be thankful to Ymir and the others for teaching her, not that she would ever admit it to the girl… She knew she would not hear the end of it if she did.

Ymir and her had entered a new stage of their relationship lately, sure they were still bickering just as much, but they spent more of their time together nonetheless. She found the other’s presence comfortable, even when they were not talking. She felt safe with her. She somehow had this certainty that she could trust her no matter what, and it scared her. She never had that growing up… Unconditional trust… It seemed like such a weird concept, and she knew she was probably being too naive, that’s probably what the brunette would tell her, but everyday she grew more certain of it. Ymir was the first person she trusted in her life. 

Although, she knew it was risky, she would probably end up regretting it, but for now she would give herself a break and embrace this feeling security. For once in her life, she was convinced someone had her back.

She wondered if that was what everyone in the crew felt… Ymir seemed close to all of them, they all were close to each other, really. And now thanks to her, thanks to all of them, she got to be a part of something like that. A real, loving and caring family, something she desperately wanted ever since she was a child.

Christa was the first one up, as usual, and she made her way to the kitchen to prepare the group some breakfast. It was a habit she took ever since she arrived, she really did not mind. Actually, she liked cooking. It helped calm her nerves, besides, she was apparently the only one that could be trusted around the kitchen.. Jean had made an omelet for them that one time, but it was the only dish he knew… Sure, Sasha could cook meat but if she did, it was hard to get a piece of it, not that meat was easy to find in these parts of town anyways. 

* * *

Later that morning, Ymir finally came out of her room and Christa started getting ready for a new day of training when the girl stopped her. 

“ No training today, we’re going to the market. “ 

“ What ? Why ? “, Christa asked her.

“ Because… “, Ymir got closer to her and put both her hands on the girls shoulder, “... life’s not all about training… Come on ! You should take a break… Besides, it’s about time we sell what we ‘borrowed’ last time. “

“ Ah ! Yes ! “

Both girls turned to Sasha who was looking as smug as ever, “ I told you guys to have more faith in her than that. “, she said to the rest of the crew who were all going through their pockets reluctantly.

“ That’s just not fair...How were we supposed to know she would suddenly decide to take something seriously… “, Jean grunted as he handed some money to Sasha.

“ Seriously… That’s not fair… “, Connie added.

“ Who would’ve thought one pretty girl would do the trick... No offense Christa… “, Eren joined the move.

Christa pretended not to notice Ymir’s furious blush, and told him it was ok, even if she was still a little bit confused about the whole situation. They had placed bets, but on what ? 

“ What the hell guys ?? “, Ymir finally spoke.

“ They placed bets on how long it would take for you to take a break… You’re never so invested, usually so they wanted to see how long it would last....”, Armin explained.

Christa snickered at Ymir’s outraged expression. She had definitely noticed the girl’s slacker nature but she did not think it was that bad… With her, at least, it seemed like she tried. 

“ You guys too ?! “, the brunette next to her watched as the betrayal happened. Mikasa and Annie were also handing out money to Sasha, Christa really had not thought they would be involved in such a silly bet too, but it only made the whole thing funnier.

“ Yeah… I thought you’d last an hour before taking off to nap or something. “, Annie explained.

“ Same. “, Mikasa agreed with the blonde, which, from what Christa had learned about them, was extremely rare.

Christa could only stand and watch as the drama unfolded. Ymir was the ‘founder’ of the group and the leader but in reality, the others had no problems making fun of her. They were just a big family filled with people who had nowhere else to go.

After a while, the bickering stopped and voices started to lower again, especially the brunette’s who had tried to defend her honor, without much success, and Christa finally got to know what Ymir originally had in mind.

* * *

She had not returned to the market place since she had joined them, although this time, it was not in search of easy food to steal, but to look around and sell what they had stolen on Christa’s first mission.

To her surprise, everyone more or less split to do their own things, and soon enough, she was left alone to wander by herself. The first friendly face she saw after about 15 minutes of visiting was Sasha’s. Of course, the girl was all over a food stand, stuffing her face with what seemed to be a hot potato. 

The blonde approached her and when Sasha noticed her she introduced her to the cook, Niccolo. The two of them seemed pretty close, of course, for a cook, having a customer as passionate as she was about food must have been a dream.

“ Here, let me offer you something ! “, he offered and handed her a potato as well. 

“ Oh no I don’t have any money for that ! “, Christa tried to decline but Niccolo insisted, saying that it was free “ for any friends of Sasha’s. “

Seeing he would not take no for an answer, she accepted it and it was indeed very delicious. It was a simple dish, but he managed to add something to it, of course, Christa was not as good of a cook as he was so she did not know what it could be, she simply decided to appreciate it for the time being. 

Once she ate her dish, she decided to leave the two of them alone. The cook’s blush and constant stare at her friend did not go unnoticed. Speaking of, it made her realize she had not seen Ymir in a while. Not that it had anything to do with the couple… Or any couple really. 

“ Bye ! It was a pleasure meeting you ! Come by anytime. “, Niccolo’s salutations saved her from her own thoughts. What was that even about ? Sure… She was not blind. Ymir was very attractive overall, and tall, and her freckles looked like small stars on her face, and her habit of initiating physical contact with Christa did feel nice… But that was it ! She was still the annoying brat who kept making fun of Christa… She was reckless and stubborn… And she did throw her off the top of a building without warning that one time…

“ Christa… Are you okay ? “, she was now facing Sasha who looked at her incredulously. She had done it again ! What was it with her today ?

She awkwardly excused herself and left them for good, as fast as she could, which made her almost bump into a man. She needed to find a distraction. Surely there was a reasonable explanation. First on the list : Exhaustion from training. Besides, she had spent a lot of time with the girl, so it was perfectly reasonable of her to miss her.

* * *

After finally managing to clear her head a little, she found the brunette talking with two tall men. They were about their age, one was a blonde muscular guy and the other had dark hair and looked more reserved. Frankly, Ymir did not seem too thrilled to talk with them, but then again it would not have been unusual for her… She could come off as a little cold sometimes… She experienced it first hand when they first met, after all.

However, when Ymir spotted her, her face lit up. It was a subtle change, though, but Christa noticed and chose to brush it off. She did not have time to question it and Ymir was probably just bored of her conversation and having her around to tease was funnier, nothing more. 

Ymir made her a sign to join them, which she did, “ Guys, this is Christa, she joined us last month. “, she explained.

“ Nice to meet you, I’m Reiner, and this is Bertoldt. “, the blonde guy introduced his friend and himself with confidence. 

After a series of awkward small talks, Ymir ended the torture by suggesting to join the others. On their way to the meeting point they had planned with the others before parting, the taller girl explained to her that these two were close friends of them. They came from the same area as Annie and would sometimes lend them some help or tips in heists. 

* * *

They arrived at the meeting point a little after Armin, Eren and Mikasa, and were soon after joined by Jean, Annie and Connie. At last, Sasha arrived with Niccolo. They were holding hands, which did not seem to bother Sasha in the slightest, on the other hand, the cook looked like he was about to throw up from the nervousness. Of course, Connie did not miss the opportunity to tease him, and he was joined soon after by Jean and Ymir.

The group made their way towards the exit of the market when they spotted a game stand. Of course, Connie and Jean insisted to stop. Everyone pretty much agreed with them, and the merchant started explaining the rules to them. It was pretty simple, they had to throw knives at a target in order to win a prize. Christa wondered why it had to be knives instead of darts but the man was a little scary so she figured it was best not to question it. The others seemed fine with it too and Connie grabbed the first knife, though, instead of throwing it, he offered it to Niccolo who kindly declined.

“ Aw come on man ! Don’t you want to impress your lady ?! “ 

“ Connie ! “, Sasha hit his arm harshly.

“ What ?! The prizes are cool ! “, he paused before smirking, “ I even saw there was meat to win… “

He was obviously lying, but his words were enough to provoke the girl. “ Give it to me !! “, she ordered as she was trying to take the knife from Connie’s hands. 

All of their fight escalated quickly and Reiner decided to step in before them or a bystander got hurt. Without realizing his sudden proximity, Connie threw his hand, still holding the knife, behind his back, cutting the taller guy in the process.

“ Shit ! I’m sorry Reiner ! “, Connie quickly apologized, “ Potato girl started it…” 

“ It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. “

“ You’re bleeding ! “, Christa was the first to notice and rushed toward him to give him proper care. 

Ymir took the knife from Connie and put it back in place while the smaller girl borrowed some towel from the merchant. 

She led Reiner to the nearest bench so that she could take a good look at the wound, she had some experience in the medical field so she instructed the rest of them to find some alcohol to clean the wound while she stayed and made sure he was okay.

After a while, the wound was cleaned, the bleeding had stopped and Reiner seemed to be more than happy with the care he received, judging by the blush forming on his cheeks. It did not go unnoticed by Ymir who suddenly made a point of staying close to Christa to “ help her “. 

They all decided it was time to head home after that. It had been quite the day after all, and Ymir had fresh tips for a potential next heist that they would need to work on. 

They were almost home when the brunette suddenly showed her finger to Christa, “ Say Christa… I cut myself earlier… Could you take a look at it ? “

The girl was about to accept but Connie interjected and advised that she “ spit on it “ since there was not even a drop of blood showing… The rest of the walk was spent in silence thanks to his intervention but Ymir’s glare on him said it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed ! Hopefully next chapter shouldn't take long :)
> 
> Thanks to @areyoubored on tumblr as usual for beta reading


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say things are getting intense...
> 
> TW/PANIC ATTACK

It had been a day since they came back from the market and Ymir, Armin, Annie and Mikasa had been working on the newest project brought by Reiner and Bertoldt. Christa had barely seen Ymir during this time, and even though Jean had helped her with her training, it was not the same. 

After lunch though, the brunette called a meeting. Finally, she would know what they had been planning. Christa was ready for more action. She was eager to show the others her improvements. She was able to help them for real know.

“ So... Reiner and Bertoldt gave us a tip about a church in the north of town. Apparently we’ll find some gold and jewelry… We just have to do a recon mission first. “

“ A church ? “, Eren asked.

“ Yeah… “, Christa could not hear the rest of Ymir’s sentence. Everything went blank, breathing was suddenly becoming a problem. Air. She needed air, right now. 

Without a warning, she got up and left as fast as she could. She could hear the others question her but she did not care, she could not answer anyway. Even if she could, what would she say ? 

Soon after, she found herself seated under the tree she had used at the beginning of her ODM gear training, trying to catch her breath. She cursed herself for being so stupid. Of course one day or the other her past would come back haunting her. Maybe she had left, maybe she lived under a new name, maybe no one here knew who she really was, but in the end what difference did it make ? 

It was all a lie. She had been lying to her friends. And now she was even scared of going inside of a church in fear she would be recognized. Everyone took the cult of the walls for mad men, but they knew more than they let on. They knew about her family, for example. They knew she was the rightful heiress of the throne, the only one left from her family besides her father.

“ Hey. Christa ? “, a familiar voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

She looked up to see Ymir seated right in front of her with a worried expression on her face. 

“ Huh ? It’s nothing… I just needed some air. Sorry for worrying you… “, she said rather unconvincingly. She knew the other girl would not believe her anyway, so she did not bother trying too hard. 

Ymir frowned, but did not answer right away. Instead, she reached for Christa’s cheek and wiped away a tear she had not even realized was falling. “ Don’t apologize. “

Christa did not flinch in the slightest at the gentle touch, in fact, it was the most comforted she had felt in a while. She also noticed her breathing was going back to normal now. 

“ Here. “, the brunette handed her a glass of water and continued with a question... “ So it was true then ? “,

“ What was ? “, Christa asked after taking a sip of water, though she was not entirely sure the question was meant for her and not just a thought expressed out loud.

“ You’re the mistress's daughter, right ? “, Christa froze at Ymir’s words.

“ How… How can you know that ? “

“ So it really was you… “, she sighed, “ I overheard some priests talk as I was stealing trinkets from a church a while ago. They said an important personality only had one illegitimate daughter left. After concluding that killing her would effectively solve the problem, his enemies finally decided against it if she made herself be forgotten. So, the girl was ordered to join the military… Except she never got there. Her carriage got into an accident, and she disappeared right after that… No one’s heard from her ever since. “

“ I- “

“ Don’t worry. The others don’t know about it, and I’m not planning on telling them. “, she concluded, leaving Christa completely dumbfounded.

“ Is that why you saved me that day, then ?... But why ? “

Ymir’s face tensed, she clearly was not expecting that question, “ I guess… we have some things in common. “

“ Things in common ? “

“ Yes. You could say that, I guess… “, she said as she stood up, clearly not at ease with where this conversation was going. She had already said too much.

Christa grabbed her sleeve, “ Wait- “

Ymir turned sharply to face her again, her expression seemingly as cold as the first day they met, but something was different, though Christa could not tell what, “ Listen. The two of us aren’t the same. When I was offered a second chance, I took it, but I didn’t give up on my name, my identity. It would be like admitting defeat. I’m going to live my life, and wear that name proudly. It’s my revenge on existence ! But you ? What you’re doing… It doesn’t make sense ! Do you want to let them win ? Live a miserable life, keep constantly hating on yourself, and for what ? “, she approached the smaller girl further, her tone was now determined. Christa had never seen her like that, she had a fire burning in her eyes. “ If you’re that angry, then use it to change your fate ! “

“ How ? It’s too late now. “, Christa felt completely defeated.

“ It’s only too late if you let it. You’re free now ! You’re with us. With me... You can do whatever you want. So, stop trying to fit in a role you were assigned to. Live for yourself, not for the others. “

With that, Ymir left Christa and went back inside. 

The girl did not follow, instead, she decided it would be best for her to take a stroll. She had a lot of things to process… What did Ymir mean when they said they were the same ? Why did she seem so upset with her ? It was not even about her ! She had no reason to care so much. No one ever did. And why would they anyway ? It wasn’t like she ever did something to deserve it.

* * *

Her feet unconsciously brought her to a busier part of the city. Which was good. The noise made it difficult for her to hear her thoughts. She was tired of all of that. It was always the same thoughts rolling like a broken record. 

All she wanted was… To be left alone, frankly. She was tired of being considered a nuisance. She was tired of upsetting people no matter what she did. She was tired of being used. Yes, Ymir was right. Maybe she should have kept fighting but how ? What ? Where to even start ? What could she, a teenager on the run, do against the most influential people in the country ?

Nothing.

Ymir’s speech couldn’t possibly apply to her. There was no way out of all the lies. Her enemies were too powerful. The best she could do was stay hidden.

Suddenly, just as she entered a crowded street, she saw military police soldiers showing a sheet to people. They claimed to be in search of a missing person, a teenage girl. 

_ Shit. _

Christa did not wait around to find out if it really was about her or not, and turned on her heels immediately. She could not be caught now. She needed more time. 

As she entered a more discreet street, she saw other soldiers doing the same thing, except this time, one of them locked eyes with her. 

_ SHIT _ .

Without thinking twice, she started running in the opposite direction. She had to hurry, she was not exactly familiar with this part of town and these streets were tricky. She could be cornered really fast.

She was still running when someone grabbed her sleeve and pulled her in a dark impass. That was it. She did not even get to say goodbye and now who knows what they were going to do to her ? Would she be sent back to the military ? Would she be killed ? 

“ Christa, calm down it’s me ! “ 

“ Mikasa ?! “ 

The girl was the last person she was expecting, but how she was happy to see her. 

“ What are you doing here ?! “

“ Ymir was worried when she didn't see you coming back, so she sent me. “, the girl explained calmly.

“ Oh… Thank you. “, Christa released a breath she had been holding. 

“ Listen. I don’t know why these guys are looking for you, honestly I never saw them so serious about their duty… But frankly, I don’t really care. You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to, it’s up to you. In the meantime, put that on. “, with that, she took off her cape and gave it to Christa. That way, she would be able to cover her face and sneak out of that area safely. 

“ Thank you, Mikasa. “, was all she said before heading straight to safety.

* * *

When they arrived, Christa got rapidly surrounded by everyone. They all asked her if she was okay, and what happened. She wanted to tell them. Really. But she could not, and she was way too tired to do anything anyway.

She headed straight to her room, without failing to notice Ymir was nowhere in sight. Not that it mattered... She really was not in the mood to be scolded again. R ight now, all she was interested in was sleeping. 

Everything changed so rapidly today, and reality just came crashing right into her face. She did not have the strength to endure much more. She wasa worried about her future, she was worried about her new found life, but most of all, she was worried about her friends, if someone found her here with them... Who knew what would happen to them ?   


She really could not be responsible for more loss, they deserved better than that after everything they had done for her...

For a second, she feared all of these thoughts would keep her from doing the only thing she realy felt like right now: Sleep. However, the second she came in contact with her bed, she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

It had been dark outside for a while when Ymir left the living room to go to her room and call it a night. She had not seen Christa ever since her big reveal. Maybe it was on purpose… She would never admit it but maybe... she had been avoiding her. Or explanation rather... She knew she would have to give them to her but where would she even start ? She wanted to keep the girl safe but by telling her everything, she would expose her to more danger... And to the harsh reality of the world they lived in.   


By sending Mikasa to retrieve her, she knew she had not been too slick, but she trusted Mikasa with her life so she knew Christa was in good hands anyway.  


It was not in her habits to get so upset over stuff… Well except for when it came to that. She knew secrets, she knew lies and she did not wish those for anyone. Especially when it came to something as important as identity, especially if it involved Christa. Sure, Ymir also had her secrets but what was she supposed to do ? Transform into a titan in the middle of the streets ? 

Being able to shift into a titan was a curse for a lot of people on this earth. A curse she would never reject however, it was what gave her a second chance at life. To her, it was a gift. And she had sworn to herself she would not waste it. This time, she would live for herself, and herself only. She would not let anyone ruin that for her, and seeing Christa cave like that ? It killed her. 

The girl she knew could be so feisty, she was a fighter, she was… Everything. And yet, she accepted to live her life as a pawn, even after running away and disappearing. Even when, probably for the first time in her life, no one was dictating her anything. No one was forcing any lies on her... No one but herself. In a way, Ymir knew how it was, she had been there before. Lying was sometimes easier than admitting the truth to ourselves, especially when we have been doing it for so long...  


As she was passing by Chista’s room, Ymir suddenly heard struggling noises and screams. So, without thinking twice, she opened the door. The smaller girl was still asleep but she looked terrified. 

“ Christa ! You’re having a nightmare, wake up ! “, Ymir shook the girl's shoulders but Chrisa would not wake up. The nightmare seemed to have even gained in intensity and with a harsh movement of her hand,Christa hit Ymir right in the face.

“ AW ! “, the girl said loudly. She could feel her lower lip swelling. She could also taste blood in her mouth. For such a petite figure, that girl could really throw a punch, even involuntarily. Maybe teasing her all the time was more dangerous for her than she thought after all…

However, Ymir’s reaction seemed to haven woken her up, “ Wh- “, she tried to say, still panting too heavily.

“ Hey, breathe. It’s ok. I’m here, you’re safe. “, she cupped the girl’s cheek to help her focus.

After a session of breathing exercises, Christa finally calmed down. Ymir could feel the girl’s eyes darting towards her lips, and she saw the girl notice her lips, though she prayed she would not say anything about it. This was not what was important right now. 

“ Your lips… Did I…. Do that ? “, she worriedly asked. Of course she would. 

Ymir sighed heavily, “ It doesn’t matter. I’m fine. But you’re not. I’m not going to force you to talk about it if you don’t want to but… You know you don’t have to bear everything alone, right ? “

“ I can’t ask you or the others to be involved… You know it’s too dangerous… I couldn’t handle it if something happened to you… To any of you... Because of me... “

“ And you think I’d be fine with something happening to you ? “, she massaged her temples tiredly, “ Well… I’m glad you’re fine now, I should go to bed. “

The girl stood up from Christa’s bed and opened the door…

“ Wait ! “

She turned to the girl, not really understanding where this was going, “ Could you… Stay with me ? Just for tonight ? “, how could she say no when the girl was looking at her like  _ that  _ ?

So, after awkwardly agreeing, she climbed on Christa’s bed and placed herself under the covers. The bed was not huge but they somehow both fitted. She blew on the candle she had lightened earlier and closed her eyes.

Of course, her heart was thumping way too loudly for her to get any sleep, and after some time, she turned to the girl beside her. Christa looked so pretty under the moonlight. She looked peaceful when she was sleeping, of course that was when she was not having any nightmare. 

The brunette noticed a strand of hair fell on her face and put it behind the girl’s ear as gently as she could. As if on cue, the girl opened her eyes.  _ Shit _ , she woke her up. 

“ Ymir ? “, she whispered while looking at her in the eyes.

“ Yeah ? “

“ I think I’m going to try… I don’t know how, but I want to. “ , the girl looked serious this time. She was determined.

Ymir could not help the smile forming on her lips. She wanted nothing more than that: Christa finally realizing her worth. 

“ Say Ymir… You said you knew what it was like earlier… What did you mean ? “

“ Oh that… " she paused before making a proposition to the smaller girl, " You know what ? Let’s make a deal. “

“ A deal ? “

“ Yes. Or a promise rather... Promise me that when I reveal my secret to everyone, you’ll take back your old name, and live. “

Christa never actually answered, but they both knew what it meant: A silent agreement.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks a lot for the feedback I love reading your comments ! And thanks to @areyoubored on tumblr as usual ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could be considered a filler but the next one will be much more interesting I swear !

Ymir woke up in an unknown room, the sun was already bright outside, which some might say was not an unusual time for her to wake up to. In truth though, she got used to waking up so late because of how badly she slept at night. As much as she had worked on her past and living her life despite it, and continued to do so, it came rushing back into her thoughts more often that she would be willing to admit.

Not last night though. She had slept like a baby, free of any disturbing reminders. 

She tried to move when she felt something, or someone was clinging on to her. It was when she looked down that she noticed a sea of blonde hair plastered on her chest. 

At that moment the memories came flooding right back to her. She was in Christa’s room. She had slept in Christa’s bed. While the girl was there too. 

If her brain was not playing any tricks on her, which she was almost sure it was not, then it meant the person resting their head on her chest,  _ hugging  _ her in their sleep was… Christa ? 

Her cheeks heated up instantly, it had to be a dream ? Right ? There was no way this was actually happening…

But it was happening, it was real. 

She could smell the other girl’s hair and it smelled so… Good. It had this flowery scent that she had only smelled at times when Christa was close to her… It was probably just soap, though… She hated the thought of a simple smell making her so soft but she had to admit it was endearing and it certainly changed from some people who were not really inclined to showers among the crew…

She felt the girl shifting, and before she knew it, bright blue eyes were staring at her.

“ Good morning. “, she said with a shy smile.

Still heavily blushing, Ymir answered, “ Good morning. “

At that moment, the position they were in occurred to Christa and the girl moved away from the other girl almost immediately. Ymir missed her warmth the second she moved away, but she understood. They had no reason to be so... Close.  


“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...I must’ve moved during my sleep I hope I didn’t bother you… “

“ N-no it’s fine don’t worry about that… “

An awkward silence followed, and both girls were actively avoiding looking at the other when Christa decided to get up and go see if the others had already made breakfast.

When she left the room, Ymir fell back on the bed and let out a heavy sigh. What a way to start the day…

She eventually decided to leave the room, praying she would not bump into anyone while getting out of the room, or she would never hear the end of it.

As if on cue, she opened the door, only to see Connie on his way to the main area. Great. Out of all the people living there, she had to stumble upon the one with the loudest mouth…

She glared darkly at him before he could say anything, but his smirk was already there… Still, to her surprise, he let out a muffled laughter and continued walking. 

It was weird… She did not have to fight or bargain for his silence… Something was up…

Then, without a warning, the boy started running towards the main room with a maniacal laughter.  _ Oh no _ .

Ymir ran after him and jumped on his back before any sound could leave his mouth.

“ No you don’t, you dumbass. It’s not what you think ! “

Connie wiggled his way out of her hold but she managed to cover his mouth once again, which was not a problem to the boy since he licked it with no hesitation. Ymir made a disgusted noise but did not let go just yet.

Their shenanigans lasted for a good ten minutes without anyone coming in between them. Most of the crew did not pay attention, although Christa seemed conflicted as to whether or not she should intervene. Eventually, Sasha approached both of them and hit them on the back of their skull to calm them down. 

Surprisingly enough, it did the trick and they both agreed to behave while going to sit at the table to eat breakfast with the others.

“ So… Christa… How did you sleep last night ? “, Connie started once they were all seated.

Ymir kicked him under the table but it only widened the boy’s smirk.

“ Huh… Fine, thanks ? “, Poor Christa clearly had no clue of what was going on.

“ I bet… “, he chuckled, “ What about you Ymir ?I bet you did too… In your own room… “

“ Connie I swear… “, she gave him a warning look , but it was useless at this point.

“ Connie just say you saw her come out of Christa’s room… “, Annie unexpectedly spoke from the other side of the table.

Everyone turned to her questioningly, “ What ? I saw you go in when I got home last night. “

Ymir only had time to let out the biggest sigh she could and shot an apologetic look at Christa before the table became chaos. Jean was the quickest to react, ready to high five the girls, then Connie joined in on the teasing. Sasha looked torn between teasing and defending them, being the latest victim of this kind of teasing herself, though she quickly made up her mind and chose to side with the boys. Eren joined in too, as Armin tried to calm everyone and Annie and Mikasa remained pretty neutral to the situation.

* * *

Eventually, the situation calmed down, not that Christa knew how, she had been too out of it to listen to the whole thing. 

Not that she was embarrassed by the others thinking something happened with Ymir ! Ymir was gorgeous, and tall, and strong… But nothing happened ! Not that she would _mind,_ of course ! But it just did not… And they had other matters at hand anyway. 

She cleaned her face with some water to clear up her thoughts and left the bathroom.

As she was wiping out water from her face, she bumped into a tall figure who steadied her by grabbing both her shoulders.

“ Oh, sorry ! “, she quickly said, before opening her eyes and seeing her, of course it had to be the girl that already occupied all of her thoughts since she woke up. 

She was close too, too close even. The blonde felt some difficulty breathing as she was staring right into the girl's eyes.

“ Oh it’s uhm… It’s nothing, just be careful, alright ? “, Christa was too focused on her own nerves to notice the deep blush creeping through the girl’s cheeks as she awkwardly moved out of the way and entered the bathroom herself.

It was going to be a long day… 

* * *

Later that day, Christa got called by Armin and Ymir to go over the plan with them, since she missed the previous briefing. 

“ You don’t have to do it… “, Ymir whispered in her ears as Armin continued with his explanations.

“ I know. “, Christa put on a brave face. She wanted to at least try, and her face would be covered anyway… It would be fine. Plus, Ymir and the others would be there. She was safe.

And with those thoughts in mind, she let Armin explain the rest of the plan. It was pretty simple, someone would do a diversion, the others would sneak in. In and out. That simple. And she would team up with Ymir and Bertholdt. She did not know the boy very well but she trusted Ymir. She would be safe.  


* * *

She helped Mikasa, Eren and Sasha arrange everything for the heist. It was happening in less than 24 hours, thankfully they did not need too much preparation. Apparently they would not use ODM gear this time, as most of the action took place inside and, if everything went well, it would not be needed even to flee the scene. They should not be noticed. Though, they still prepared two just in case things went south. Ymir had insisted Christa took one too and joined Jean and Mikasa, who would be in charge of moving the items as far away as they could, but she had refused. She did not need a special treatment, she said she would do it, and she had no intention of backing down.

She took a deep breath. They would be fine. Armin was a genius and the rest of the team was extremely skilled, she had nothing to worry about. Still, getting rid of doubts, fears and insecurities that had been with her for as long as she could remember was tough.

Eventually, the others had other duties to attend to so she ended up alone to finish inspecting the gear. 

Not for long though. 

As she turned to leave, she saw Ymir watching her from the door frame. How long had it been since she was there ?

“ Are you sure about this ? I know I was the one who pushed you, but I don’t want you to be in danger because of it… “, she finally said when their eyes locked.

“ I’ll be fine. You heard Armin, they won’t even notice us. “

“ Yes… If everything goes well but- “

“ Are you doubting Armin ? He is a genius, you said it yourself. “, Christa said more firmly.

“ Wh- No… no, I trust him. It’s just… “, she let out a frustrated grunt, “ Gahhh I don’t know… Forget it. “

Ymir turned fast and Christa barely caught up to her in the hallway. She grabbed her hand, the sudden contact startling both of them and making Ymir stop in her tracks.

“ Wait. I wanted to ask you something… “

“ What is it ? “

Christa took a deep breath then asked, “ Is it okay if I sleep with you again tonight ? “

Ymir looked like she was about to choke, “ Uhm. “, clearly Christa had not thought of the double meaning it could have.

“ It’s just… I didn’t have any more nightmares last night… In fact, it was probably the best night I’ve had in a very, very long time… But I understand if you don’t want to… It was a dumb thing to ask. Sorry. “

“ N-no. It’s fine, if that’s what you want I mean... “

And that is what they did, except this time, Ymir was the one with an arm around Christa when they woke up with their legs entangled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about the story so far ? Are there stuff you want to see ? Or maybe one shots idea you would like to see ? As usual thanks to @areyoubored on tumblr for beta reading :)
> 
> PS: yes I was targetting Eren when I talked about smelly people lol he just gives me vibes sorry....


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone ! Thanks for reading :)

The sun was starting to set and Reiner and Bertoldt were already at the rendez-vous point when they arrived. Christa could feel her nerves building up rapidly when she felt a familiar hand squeezing her shoulder. She locked eyes with Ymir who wore a serious and confident expression. Right. She just had to breathe and focus on the mission.

They did not waste any time, everyone put on their cape and just like that, it was in motion. They all split into groups and Christa followed Ymir and Bertoldt. All they had to do was sneak into the church and look for the altar, it had pretty expensive items on it, even though it was nothing compared to the crown in the safe that the rest of them were going to force. 

Surprisingly, everything was going well, they were only a few meters away from their goal when they heard voices. Everyone hid behind a column, Ymir’s arms secured around Christa. 

“ So they found the heiress ? “, the first priest said.

“ Yes, she’s here in Trost apparently. “, the second one answered and Christa’s blood froze. She could feel Ymir tense as well. The blonde looked over at Bertoldt who was staring at them. Hopefully, it was only because he waited for their instructions…

“ What is the military police doing ? They should have caught her months ago… She is the rightful heiress to the throne now that her father was killed… “

Now that her father was  _ what ? _

This could not be true. 

There was no way. 

The news felt like thousands of needles were stabbing her. She was not exactly sad… No… It was not sadness, not exactly, and yet she could not help the tear rolling down her cheek. 

It did not take her long to recognize what she truly felt though. Terror. She was terrified of what they would do to her once they found her, now that her father was not there to 'save' her. 

She barely knew him, he had never taken care of her but he had saved her life on that night. He was the sole reason her throat had not been sliced then and there, like her mother’s. 

She heard steps approaching, so they moved, Ymir was guiding her. Everything was a blur, she remembered Ymir and Bertoldt giving her golden trinkets to hold on to and then being dragged outside. 

Suddenly, a sharp pain, a body crashing onto her and projecting her on the ground, hard. 

“ Shit ! “, she heard Reiner’s voice say, “ I’m so sorry ! “

“ What the fuck, Reiner ?! Connie ?! “, if looks could kill, Reiner would have dropped dead then and there under Ymir's glare.

“ They saw us, we gotta run ! “, the latter answered.

Without thinking, Christa started picking up as many trinkets as she could from the ground before Ymir yelled, “ Give it up we don’t have time ! Come on ! “

With that, she forcefully grabbed Christa’s free hand and started running as fast as she could. She could hear soldiers yelling after them, so she started running faster, with no idea where she was going.

Reiner and Bertoldt were leading the group, and suddenly took a sharp turn which brought them in a dark alley, then another, and another. Christa felt like they were lost but as soon as she was about to ask, they stopped before a door.

It was an old wooden door, it did not seem very solid. The building it was leading to seemed just as abandoned. By the looks of it, the door did not lead directly to the building, but rather to its basement.

“ Get inside ! “, the blonde boy said after opening the door for them, “ Hurry ! “

They did as ordered, but it was not without one of Ymir’s snarky remarks, “ A grown man urging me to go in his basement ? I’ve seen more reassuring... “

“ Come on Ymir, hurry ! “, Christa, who was already on the stairs inside urged her. 

“ Aw Christa… You’re so cute when you worry for me. We should get married when this is all over ! “

Everyone fell into an uncomfortable silence, probably wondering what was wrong with her for joking at a time like taht, except for Christa who just rolled her eyes and started moving down the stairs. Ymir was still a jerk after all, even more so when she was nervous, no surprises there, and they had more pressing matters at hand. 

At the bottom of the stairs, they found another door that Bertoldt opened with a key. They entered the room, which; of course was dark. Although soon enough, their hosts lit candles and Christa was able to take a better look at the room. It was huge, and it was not the only room in this basement, there were multiple other doors leading to what she assumed were other similar rooms.

“ So… What’s this place ? “, Connie was the first to ask.

“ One of our hideouts. We use it to stash merchandise… “, Reiner answered before adding, “ make yourself comfortable we’re going to be here a while… “

“ Do you at least have something to eat here ? “, Ymir asked. She was right, if they were staying here, they would soon need supplies.

“ I’m not sure… I’ll have to go take a look. “

“ I’m coming with you. “, the tall girl surprisingly offered.

Christa, on the other hand, felt restless and exhausted. It was not surprising… The mission did not go as expected, they had no idea where the others were and they were stuck in a dark, cold, smelly basement. This day really did not go as she had expected, but then again, when were things ever going her way ?  


* * *

Ymir followed Reiner to yet another dark room and they started going through boxes in search of something edible. After about 20 minutes, they were starting to lose hope when Ymir finally stumbled upon what seemed to be cans of food. She took a candle to get a closer look and read “ Herring“.

“ Ah ! “

“ Found something ? “, Reiner asked from the other side of the room.

“ Herrings… Not my favorite but we can’t exactly afford to be picky... “

“ Let me see. “

And she did, she handed the can to Reiner who suddenly froze. 

“ How- I can’t… read that. How can you… ? “

_ Shit. _

She had to find a parade. Fast. 

“ Hey ! Are you in there ? “, Christa’s voice burst through the door before the girl opened it. “ Oh ! There you are guys ! I was starting to worry… “

“ Yeah ! We found those cans. But we don’t know what’s inside… Right ? “, she shot a glaring look at the blond boy, “ Guess we’ll have to open them and see. “

Without another word, she led them back to the rest of the group, thankful for Christa’s saving. She seriously did not know how she could have gotten out of that conversation otherwise. 

That interaction raised another question too, besides _how could she be so dumb ?_ … Why did Reiner and Bertoldt have those cans ? Where did they get them from ? And if they really were theirs... Who were they really ?  


Theories started forming in her head… But none of what she came up with were satisfying, because if she was right, then they were all in danger. Especially Christa. 

She had to keep an eye on them from now on, and most of all, she could not let them know Christa’s true identity. 

She herself was not exactly sure who Christa was, but judging by the people after her, she knew she was important. And if she was important, then even more dangerous people would come after her, people from outside the walls for example. 

What she knew, though, was that she would do anything to protect the girl. It did not matter to her who she really was, heiress or not, she would protect her at all cost.  


When they returned, they opened the cans to study the inside, and without any big surprises, they found the fish. 

They all ate in silence, everyone was pretty shaken up, even Connie did not dare to make a joke.

Ymir could feel two pairs of eyes on her during dinner, and she knew none of them belonged to the cute blonde beside her. They belonged to Reiner and Bertoldt. She had made a mistake and now they were suspicious of her, but she tried to act as normal as possible. She could not let them know anything more about her, not before she herself knew more about them.

After dinner, they decided resting was the best idea. They would take turns sleeping just in case the hideout was discovered. Christa was the first one to pass out from exhaustion, her head already resting on Ymir’s shoulder before they could even lie down. 

On the other hand, Ymir did not feel like sleeping at all. The scene from earlier would not leave her mind… How could she have been so dumb ? After years of fitting in perfectly, she just blew it in one sentence. She had to blow it in front of, probably, one of the worst person possible. They did not own those cans for nothing. If they really came from outside the walls the chances those two were friendly were very slim...

“ Here. Reiner found those. “, Connie appeared and handed a blanket to her. Once she took it and thanked him, he sat next to her.

“ Is she okay ? “, he asked, pointing at Christa.

“ I don’t know… Today was rough on all of us. “

“ Yeah… I hope Jean and Sasha are okay… “, he sighed heavily.

“ I’m sure they are. We drew the guards’ attention in our direction and Mikasa was with them anyway… “

“ You’re right… I just don’t like not knowing, and being stuck here. “, he sighed.

“ Look… I’m sorry Connie… That was clearly a shitty plan… “

Connie looked at her like she had grown a second head, “ You’re… Sorry ? Are you okay ? Do you have a fever ? “, he asked with his eyebrows raised suspiciously.

“ Gahh… Nevermind. Goodnight. “, she closed her eyes to accentuate her frustration.  


He laughed tiredly, “ It’s not your fault we’re stuck here. We all agreed to the plan, we couldn’t have known they hired more security over night… The whole district has been agitated these past few days, anyway… I wonder why. “

Ymir knew the answer to that question… The girl resting on her shoulder while sleeping peacefully was the cause. 

Even if her arm was starting to get sore, she would not move. The girl deserved those few moments of rest. They still had not had the time to talk about it, she was not even sure Christa would want to, but Ymir knew she was now grieving too, in addition to all the bullshit that she normally had to face, and this messy situation they were currently in. So, as much as she wanted to tell him, Ymir would not. It was not her secret to share, and she did not even know most of the story anyway.

They said goodnight after that, and Ymir felt herself slowly drifting away. As much as she wanted to stay awake, she could not fight exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to my beta reader as usual ! What did you think of this chapter ?


End file.
